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  • 20 Things every mom should know by 40

    Posted by Charli McKenzie

    By 40, you should have…

    1. Access to a great therapist, a great dry cleaner, a great hair stylist, and a great lawyer... but mostly a great therapist.

    2. Cellulite that you play with when you sit "criss cross applesauce."

    3. The knowledge that the position I just referred to was once un-PC-ishly called "Indian Style."

    4. Enough videos and pictures of your children to fill a credenza.

    5. A credenza ... or at least know what one is.

    6. Worry lines from every bruise, bump and first day of school that you lovingly freaked out about.

    7. Gray hairs from every tantrum, debate, and negotiation lost to a toddler.

    8. A designer handbag that's so pricey you would sell on Craig's list if you didn't think someone would murder you at the pick up.

    9. A designer for Target item, which you don't like and doesn't fit, but you wear anyway because you had to fight another woman for it.

    10. A drawer filled with mostly unsuccessful creams/scrubs/supplements for your cellulite, stretch-marks, dark puffy circles, and increasingly dry skin.

    11. A cabinet filled with wraps/casts/prescriptions for your bad lower back, arthritic toe, irritable bowel, adult onset ADD, or carpal tunnel syndrome.

    12. Broken capillaries from exfoliating hard enough to erase your crows feet. Freakin' crows feet!

    13. Laugh lines from being a total dork with your kids, and spider veins that your kids affectionately compare to tattoos.

    14. Saggy boobs that have been blown up and deflated with each pregnancy, like a Snoopy in a Macy's Thanksgiving Day parade.

    15. A great foundation (even though you swore you'd never wear one), that's not cakey and covers redness and freckles -- also known as rosecia and age-spots.

    16. Enough success in parenting that you have faith you're kids will turn out ok (Well, maybe with minimal psychoanalysis.)

    17. A bathing suit or shorts that you should no longer be wearing. A fact everyone is aware of, but you.

    18. The ability to pull off heels, flats, or a ponytail with almost anything.

    19. A pair of jeans that are too tight, but you refuse to throw away, because those 5lbs you haven't been able to lose this decade will come off, you just know it.

    20. Spent enough time chasing dreams to know that they can be caught. (oh, I can be beautifully sentimental when I wanna be!)

     

    By 40, you should know...

    1. When people call you ma'am, they're trying to be polite, even though it sounds REALLY rude.

    2. How to cook at least a week's worth of meals. (I mean, if someone had a gun to your head.)

    3. Enough about politics to have a position on healthcare, and taxes even if that position is to not have one.

    4. That you DID become your parents, even though you swore you wouldn't.

    5. How to throw together a bus stop/carpool appropriate outfit in under 2 minutes.

    6. That said outfit doesn't not need to include makeup, shoes or a bra... yes, even pants are optional.

    7. How to make a man happy in 5 minutes or less. (For your benefit... and his, but mostly yours. Hello, there are reality shows to be watched.)

    8. At least one man who knows how to satisfy you.. and hopefully you're married to him.

    9. That as your parents age you need to start checking how much they tip the waitress.

    10. 40 is nowhere near as old as it seemed when you were 20.

    11. That most the celebs you wanted to be like in your 20's and 30's have things that are fake, enhanced or airbrushed.

    12. That said celebs are now nearing or over 40!

    13. It's ok to have the fake hair, fake lashes, fake nails and any other falsie, if you so desire. (see 11.)

    14. Gas is still funny... maybe funnier.

    15. That your parents didn't know any more about raising children than you do.

    16. How to get kids out the door for school in 10 minutes because YOU overslept.

    17. That Spanx are like chocolate or cheese, they make everything better.

    18. You're just like you were in your 20's only savvier and less bendy.

    19. That you can survive on 2hrs. sleep each night for 6 months.

    20. That you can't fight it anymore - You are officially a WOMAN - and that's not such a bad thing to be.

  • VOTE for your favorite ACM win!

    Posted by Charli McKenzie

    These two are going to make the ACM's HILARIOUS

     

    We now have the power to not only vote in the Entertainer of the Year...... But we also have the power to vote in the Best New Artist..

    It's Brantley Gilbert

     

    Jana Kramer

     

     

    Florida Georgia Line

     

    CLICK HERE TO VOTE NOW

     

    My advice vote Florida Georgia line, so there is no fighting between Brantley and his fiance, Jana....lol

     

    ~Charli

     

     

  • Grandparents to be are pretty EXCITED! Priceless...

    Posted by Charli McKenzie

    It was a big 60th birthday party celebration for dad and they decided to suprise them with the news they were going to be grandparents...Watch mom flip out..this is priceless!

    ~Charli

     

  • People's Court..Should charges be inflicted?

    Posted by Charli McKenzie

     

    The family of a blind woman killed her healthy guide dog so it could be buried beside her.  Now, they're receiving death threats.

    The 68-year-old Indiana woman died of cancer last month and her son had her healthy five-year-old guide dog, Toffee, put down so it could placed in the woman’s coffin to fulfill her dying wish.

    Now the woman’s son is receiving death threats and even suffering abuse from members of his own family.

    He claims that the dog showed signs of mourning and “wandered aimlessly” for days after his mother passed away.

    The Indiana law states that it’s legal for an owner to put a healthy dog to sleep because it is considered to be their property.

    Should the family be charged or did they do the right thing?

    ~Charli 

  • This is the may be the WORST April Fool's Joke...

    Posted by Charli McKenzie

    A Tennessee woman took an April Fools’ Day prank too far by joking she had shot and killed her husband.

    She called her sister to tell her about the terrible deed, “I shot my husband, I’m cleaning up the mess, let’s go bury him”.

    The sister didn't realize it was an April fools joke and called police.

    The woman was detained, but did not get arrested.

     

  • This boyfriend is a jerk...hahaha

    Posted by Charli McKenzie

     

    A couple watching the Diamondbacks take on the Cardinals from center field in Arizona got a lot more than they bargained for on their night out at the ballpark.

    When a homerun ball came flying to their section, the boyfriend ducked out of the way - leaving the ball to head straight for his girlfriend’s face. She got hit.

    Even the announcers said “nice going, boyfriend” - showing that they clearly thought he should have protected her over putting himself first.

    ** At games, the annoucers warn patrons to look out for flying balls.

     

  • Celebrity Audition Tapes

    Posted by Charli McKenzie

    Julien's Auction House shared some rare footage of actors in the earliest years of their careers.

    One of the tapes features a 15-year-old Leonardo DiCaprio in 1990 trying out for a TV series based on "The Outsiders," instead, the role went to "Mad Men's" Jay R. Ferguson.

    Also up for purchase: Brad Pitt, Robert Downey Jr. and Keanu Reeves all trying out for 1991's "Backdraft" (the role went to William Baldwin), Gwyneth Paltrow and Helen Hunt trying out for the role Laura Dern ultimately won in 1993's "Jurassic Park" and Nicole Kidman auditioning for 1991's "Shattered"(a role that went to Greta Scacchi).  

    The tapes came from a casting director who wished to remain unnamed, but who had taken the footage over the past 30 years. All in all there are 12 lots of videos, with 54 auditions in all, and they hit the block from April 5-6.

  • Kevin Ware's injury...UGH...this will make you cringe

    Posted by Charli McKenzie

    Do you see why I dont watch Basketball....WOW, check out this gruesome injury! 


    Ware was hospitalized after gruesomely breaking a leg in the first half. Louisville was leading 21-20 when he hurtled toward the sideline while contesting a 3-point try. The sophomore landed awkwardly and suffered what school officials confirmed was a broken leg. In fact, his broken leg tore through his skin.

     

     

  • Mom gets suprised by son at Bulls game...AWESOME!

    Posted by Charli McKenzie

     

    The mother of a Navy pilot got the shock of a lifetime at the Chicago Bulls game over the weekend: She was reunited with the son she hadn't seen in 18 months.

    Sandy Miller had no idea that her son, Navy Lt Kyle Hanford, had taken a six-day leave from his post overseas and was planning to surprise her at Saturday's game against the Indiana Pacers.

    After the first quarter of the game, Mrs. Miller was blindfolded and brought to the court thinking that she was about to try a half-court shot to win some money.

    Her 28-year-old son then came out on the court and gave her the shock of a lifetime as the bandanna was taken off.

     

  • Worlds Largest bunny...wowza

    Posted by Charli McKenzie

    Image: Darius the bunny

     

    Darius is 4 feet, 3 inches tall...and weighs over 50lbs

    Annette, who owns Darious, had owned other record breaking animals

     

    It seems a little hard to carry Darius ;)

    ~Charli