Justin's Jumble of Junk
You may recognize NICK CANNON as the host of "America's Got Talent". Well, he's also a rapper . . . and he released an anti-bullying remix of THE BAND PERRY'S "If I Die Young". It features his rap lyrics mixed with large portions of the song's chorus.
I like the message...but the remix itself is like teetch on a chalkboard for me.
There's a new video online of a second-rate journalist in Romania reporting on a sandstorm. And here's why he sucks: Apparently he and his camera crew were late getting on location, so they tried to RECREATE the sandstorm.
At one point, the camera pans over, and you can see someone kicking sand up in the air. (The camera pans at :10.)
"Smithsonian Magazine" dug up a 1924 issue of a magazine called "Science and Invention", and found a four-item LOVE TEST. It was supposed to scientifically predict whether a marriage would succeed or fail.
Could YOU pass? Here are the four parts of the test . . .
#1.) Are you deeply physically attracted? The author says that physical attraction is THE most important element for a marriage. So he'd test whether a couple got shortness of breath or a fast heartbeat when they looked at each other.
#2.) How sympathetic are you? In this test, each person would watch the other one go through something mildly traumatic, like giving blood. And they'd be tested on whether they had strong physical reactions to seeing the other person in pain.
#3.) Can you deal with each other's body odor? This is great . . . the author says he believes more marriages are destroyed by BAD BODY ODOR than any other reason.
--In this test, each person was put in a tight, enclosed capsule, and a hose would pump the scent from the other person's capsule RIGHT into their noses. If they could handle that, they were a good couple.
#4.) Do you balance each other out in stressful situations? For this test, the author would surprise the couple by firing a gun into the air. He wanted to make sure one person had a more nervous reaction than the other, to show balance.
--And that's it. If you have a deep physical attraction, you feel each other's pain, you don't mind each other's smell, and you do a good job balancing each other out under stress, you've passed a 1920s marriage test.
(--Here are some illustrations of the tests from the article.)
Yesterday in England, a 42-year-old stuntman named Gary Connery became the first person to land safely after skydiving from 2,400 feet WITHOUT a parachute. Obviously he didn't just JUMP, he had a wingsuit on. So he glided in.
And he landed on a 350-foot-long row of 18,600 cardboard boxes.
(--In the video, he's the first person to jump, and the second jumper is probably a cameraman. He lands at :35, and emerges from the boxes at 1:04.)
I'm guessing this 12-year-old girl in Houston, Texas won't be posting stupid photos anymore.
Last week, ReShonda Tate Billingsley caught her 12-year-old daughter posting a photo on Instagram where she was holding a bottle of VODKA. The caption said, quote, "I sure wish I could drink this." So ReShonda came up with a BRILLIANT punishment that she KNEW would stick.
She made her daughter take a photo holding a sign, and posted THAT to Instagram. See the sign below...
The daughter doesn't have a Facebook page yet, so ReShonda made it HER Facebook profile photo. And she says her daughter was so "devastated" that, quote, "she actually asked for a spanking instead. She begged for a spanking."
(--Here's the photo of ReShonda's daughter holding the sign.)
If you've got three minutes of your life to waste, check this out. Someone set up a treadmill at just the right angle and just the right speed for a Slinky. Then added dramatic movie music.
A reporter for CBS New York was doing a live report from a neighborhood in Lodi, New Jersey. And in the middle of it, a shirtless guy in the background fell out of a first story WINDOW.
(He falls at :12.)
So, is the real world not quite doing it for you? Want to live in a dream world where you're rich, famous, and can get it on with MILA KUNIS? That actually MIGHT be possible.
--A company in Brooklyn has started taking pre-orders for a new sleep mask called Remee. They say it actually lets you CONTROL what you dream about, and steer your dreams where you want them to go.
--The way it works sounds very "Inception"-like. The mask detects when you enter REM sleep, then starts flashing a few faint red lights in a specific sequence. They won't wake you up, but they'll be picked up by your brain.
--Basically, that signals your brain that you're dreaming, so your brain can steer your dreams the way you want them without waking you up.
--It sounds like science fiction, but the inventors swear it really works. The masks are available online at SleepWithRemee.com. You can pre-order them for $95 plus $15 shipping . . . but there's no word when they're going to ship.
We don't know where this happened, but if you want to see the world's worst parents, here you go. A couple put their toddler in a front-loading WASHING MACHINE . . . apparently just to mess with him. But they didn't realize that when they shut the door, it would lock and the wash cycle would start.
According to the YouTube description, the kid was okay and only suffered minor injuries. (--Not counting the EMOTIONAL damage.)
(The dad puts him in at :22, you can see the kid tumbling around at :57, and they finally get it open at 1:35. Ironically, a sign above the washer says, quote, "Junior Wash: $2.95." )
HUGH JACKMAN in a funny new video where he interviews for a teaching position at a school in New York . . . and treats it like an audition.
He brings headshots, does a monologue from "Shrek", and sings. It's actually an ad for a group of schools in New York called the Harlem Village Academies.
Three teenagers in Russia were arrested earlier this month for climbing an 800-foot suspension bridge without any safety equipment. Now the video they shot is getting a bunch of hits online.
It looks like they weren't even TRYING to be careful, and one of them even started taking pictures without holding onto anything. After that, they stepped out onto a crane with a walkway that seems KIND OF safe. But then they decided to climb on the OUTSIDE of it. Luckily, they made it down safe. But the only mistake they made was bragging about it online, because they said they were planning to climb ANOTHER bridge the next day . . . and the cops were there to arrest them.
(One of them starts taking pictures without holding on at :19, and they start climbing on the outside of the crane at 1:00.)
Ladies . . . you KNOW you want some of this: JOEY LAWRENCE is going to dance with the Chippendales next month!
--Sadly, it's only a limited engagement. He'll strut his stuff in a bowtie . . . and little else . . . from June 7th to the 24th at the Rio in Las Vegas. And he'll SING, too.
(--JEFF TIMMONS from 98 DEGREES did the same thing last year. You can check out a gallery with a dozen photos of Jeff as a Chippendales host here.)
